Daughters and Marriage
In Pakistan, you find a lot of families whose sole purpose of existence is to get their daughters’ married when they hit the age of 18 or puberty. From the day daughters were born they were told to get married. It seems like getting MARRIED and having kids specifically when it comes to girls is far more important than setting your goals.
As readers you might think that this article is against marriage but no I have something different to say which you probably need to give a thought on. And just start raising your daughters’ slightly in a different manner which they really deserve. Though I also have seen parents who focus on building their daughters to live independently which we all need to consider more.
Maybe this happens because the society that we live in pressurizes parents to let their daughters marry a decent man for their future security. But we need to break this stereotype that is associated with females. As a society we should focus more on getting our daughters the best education they can have, the best lifestyle they can ever own, and the best in everything. Here it’s sad that the things I have mentioned are hard to achieve in Pakistan. You can find these things in elites and in some families.
There are parents who have four to five daughters who consider them as a burden which they want to get rid of as soon as possible. They consider them as a liability not an asset so they least focus on their education rather they focus more on teaching them how to take care of home which they will be entering in upcoming years. Here at this point I think that parents are unknowingly killing the dreams of their child. You are basically treating them as puppets and making them do what you want them to do is selfish. You are making them a dependent creature which is not good, the day they were born you took care of them and when they become young you tie their knot to men so they from now onwards become dependent on them. You are basically teaching them how to be “Dependent” not “Independent.”
This is sick!!!
When parents feed this kind of mentality, some girls become okay with that. So they start fantasizing about marriage. In some cases, there are girls who are educated. They also do the same, the day they were graduated marriage proposals started to come in abnormally and when a suitable man matches for their daughter’s then they get married without utilizing what she has learnt in the past years and not putting it into practice.
“Marriage is not a light responsibility which everyone can deal with, it requires a lot of dedication, patience, and love to make marriage work a lifetime.”
According to some sources there are 70–80% female MBBS doctors in Pakistan but unfortunately not all of them continue their jobs because they have family responsibilities or their husbands won’t be allowing them to continue.
There is no harm in marriage but before making your daughter enter this responsibility, make herself prepared for the future. And this can only happen when you make her independent, provide her with the best education and allow them to follow their passion.
There is a quotation I would like to mention:
“Education is the best jewelry a woman can ever wear.”
To conclude, make your daughters prepared for the struggles of the real world. Do not create a Utopian world where everything seems to be perfect and colorful. Provide her the exposure that to earn money how many hardships, and troubles men face. Teach her, this should not be the only responsibility of men; women should also contribute. In the 21st Century both men and women should walk side by side to earn a happy life.
You can’t put too much load on one tire of the car. It must be a balance. Then things will go in the right direction.
